hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
