i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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