he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
