He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
