I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
