I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
