forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
