I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
