Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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