You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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