I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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