Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
