And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
