he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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