Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
