Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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