Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
