dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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