i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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