How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
