Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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