Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
