SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Your penis caused this!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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