In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
