Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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