If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
