i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
