Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
