I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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