well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
