You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
