I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
