his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
