How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
