i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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