how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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