Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
