nutella sex= disaster
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
