i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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