the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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