So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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