I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
