New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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