white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
