I think I died a long time ago.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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