btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Are we still banned from the library?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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