where am i from again
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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