You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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