I CAN MOONWALK!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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