You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
