Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
